God said:
Beloved, the distance between what you call your heart and between My heart is no distance at all. Oneness is One. There is no distance between hearts. Of course, you may not yet have the confidence to accept Oneness once and for all. You would like to believe that what you call you and what you call God are One and the same. Wouldn’t this be nice? This sounds so good, yet you dally.
You mistake illusion for reality, hesitant child of Mine. How you desire Oneness, yet you are unsure that Oneness can really exist for you. You realize the rockiness you live with every day. Of course, you would prefer the steadiness of My stride, yet you fear you might topple.
Oh, how you don’t want to be disappointed. You may feel you have had all the disappointment you can live with in this lifetime and no longer can bear any more unsettledness. You may prefer established disappointment than a newly-dashed turn-down. Of course, you would like to be in sight of Home rather than to have the rug pulled out from under you. By and large, when is enough enough? You call for inner peace.
You want a semblance of security. The relative world seems to be about insecurity. You may feel you cannot take on any more. Not even one more down-turn on any other day. You say: “God, I beg your pardon. I’m just not up for any more.”
You would welcome being set aside and not under the eyes of the world for awhile. The carpet has been pulled out from under you too much. Your hair stands on end. You would even appreciate a little boredom for awhile now and then if that is not asking for too much, or, just to go unnoticed.
It’s not that you feel targeted. You don’t want even the possibility of one random upset. You might like a little walk in a lovely garden if this could meet your safety concerns. You whisper to Me that sometimes it seems that a lax excursion skips past you in the Garden of Eden.
All that you desire may not pass inspection. Alack and alas, My Child, you as I, God of the Angels, you would like to be on the sunny side of the street. Is it impertinent of me to ask You if there is anywhere that even angels do not fear to tread?
“Where, God, does all my panic come from? I don’t quite dare to lie down with angels because of the inconstancy of life in the raw.
“In the unexpurgated world, where does danger of one kind or another not exist no matter who I may be or in what land I may live? I hear that all humans are born with fear of falling. It may well be that that everyone is rough and tumble.
“O God, give me freedom from fear. This is what I ask. I can wear all the seat belts in the world, and still fear pursues me.
“I want to serve You well, yet I do not pass the first screening.
“Tell me, please, God, wherein does security lie for certain souls?
“What happenstance has not already happened to someone near or far? From my meager point of view, things should not befall as they may on even one of Your beloved children.
“Beloved God, please do not test me, for I already find myself wanting.
“I want no one’s heart to break, not ever. I never desire to let You down, not ever. It takes courage to be among the brave. I wait in line for an opening to serve as You beckon me to.”
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