Did you ever have a meditation that just seemed to alter everything. It takes you to a place that is so deep within alternate realities, alternate universes, choice points that allows you to choose again and once you enter and choose a different outcome, there is no returning back to the reality you have been living. Welcome to my meditation yesterday and my ongoing present moment this morning.
For the longest moment, mostly I just laid in my tub, internal dialog off the charts with nothing productive being said and thru my inner noise I hear the voice of Archangel Michael again. He has been sounding his question to me for the last several days. ”What do you want.” I have not been answering him at all. I am good at avoidance (smile.) For the whole month of January I feel like I have been haunted by my past, a past relationship in particular. A door that I was sure had been cleared and closed. Nothing is negative by this “haunting” at all, except by my own ego desires, which is to simply stuff him back into the closet and keep him there… FOREVER more!! And yet, there seems to be this universal energy that persists… waiting… The moment you finally let go and allow, the trickster God Loki comes out to play!! Loki has been with me all my flipping life so I know to always proceed with caution (from the ego’s standpoint!!)
The third time Archangel Michael asked me “what do you want” yesterday, I finally gave in and answered… sort of. My mind attempted to answer with words. Changing the words because what I thought I knew about some words like “divine counterparts” have changed, so my mind kept changing the way it was stringing the words together, cautious not to ask for the wrong thing (kinda silly how that mind works really, even when it is being really good, the fear of saying “it” incorrectly will always be a part of its nature.) As my mind was “defining” the desire of my divine counterpart as I understand it now, I simply gave up or gave in and asked Michael to feel the heart desire without words, because honestly, I don’t even know if I understand all of this any longer (mentally speaking!!)
There is something that happened in that heart connection/desire that seems to have been pulled from my memory (pesky spirit) but it obviously formed some sort of link. Whatever it was (I cannot believe I cannot remember) sat me up in the bathtub. The next I can remember clearly (at this moment) is Archangel Michael telling me that I must initiate the flow of energy, they (my team) cannot do it for me (free will and all that, hindsight being shared.)
I fully anticipated having an energetic connection with Jorge… I laid back down in the tub and opened my heart energy (as if I knew what I was doing lol, somethings, I think are Self programmed within.) The next thing I know, I am back in 2002 at the Cherry Hotel (where my daughter and I lived after we (I) got evicted from the Homeless Shelter) and the setting was in the timeline Marc had come from across the pond to be in my physical reality as we laid down to go to sleep (for the record here, in separate beds.) This whole experience was so real and so incredibly… weird. When he was with me, the nights were the hardest thing to get thru. The intense magnetic pull to his body was close to excruciating to hold back from, but only at night, at least at that intensity. I would go to sleep with my fingers wrapped tightly around my mattress sides so I did not fly off my bed into him. Let me tell you, it was not a sexual thing at all… altho, sex did cross my mind and desire at least 5 million times over those 5 days!
So here I am, in my meditation, back in a timeline that is as real today in feeling and experience as it was then. And I hear Michael’s voice once again… now you can choose to let go. So I did. (And I am going to keep most of the details, at least for now, unspoken, because let me tell you I am still reverberating on every level, from this whole, intense surprise.) But I will say, there was a body alignment that happened (and to be clear, this was not sexual at all, well, not really… smile) that the moment, the very moment we connected in that way an energy shot straight thru me from him and the energy in my entire brains area… changed. I watched my own brainwaves, I have no idea how to explain this, all I can say is something changed intensely within my upper atmosphere, I watched it and felt it.
Once I regained the aspect I call my whole mind, including my ability to “see” I seen that netting of green and violet from our heart chakra’s, like I had seen with Jorge last week… and this golden twined energy connected the two heart centers. But also, with a grid started to form around us and I understood that sacred geometry is a vastly important aspect of alignment within the body, the energy, and stuff.
And as quickly as the experience was opened, it was closed. I sat there in my bath… shocked. In complete disbelief… First, I couldn’t believe I would allow myself to do that!! And that crazy ass team of mine, no doubt feeling my own, I don’t even know… like I betrayed something… something that I feel (mentally speaking obviously) should have been left alone in the past where it belonged. But the heart has no boundaries. So I was surrounded by a song “If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right…” I do not see the humor in this. And yet, I cannot ignore the energy still moving thru me, shifting and rearranging me.
And then I felt a pick in my eye, my right eye near my nose. Whatever that last code was in my series of eye-ball openings just popped open… with an incredible realization too (from this mornings perspective.) All 5 of my other codes that opened so painfully in my eyes was because they were forced open by my team. My eye issues started happening right around that whole Gangnam Style song with the Star Trek beam me over Scotty appearance of Marc in Virginia around New Years. The beginning of a very very persistent haunting of my past. It is funny how much things don’t hurt when you stop fighting where you will end up going anywayz! *sigh* The choice is always ours!
I had hoped, by the time I woke up this morning, it all would have really been a cosmic joke, however, it is not. I can feel the energy, as if I am being woven into a brand new spiritual sweater and I feel it’s continual movement… deepening.
Like the most amazing synchronicity playing out in real-time, I was just emailed this picture, (from the same person who sent me that heart opening song “I Love You Because…) which for where I am at right now… says it all:
I suppose I am going to share yesterdays understandings from the last experience backwards to the first.
On Monday, fully realizing that what we are seeing in the “field” is really starting to play out in my own personal reality here. The clouds, the rain, the lightning… so I put a little funny on my facebook page, half-joking half serious that read: Of course today is thick with cloud cover, rain coming in and we are under another winter advisory. Can we please have some readings where we are in a rain storm of dollar bills?? Just saying… would be nice if this land is going to reflect the day of readings the next day in my literal world!! ♥
Of course, in the use of the words “dollar bills” it was the only thing I could think of as something tangible we all could relate to in desire. My true energy was more along the lines of something tangible I could use! (dollar bills are always handy for all of us!!)
The skies opened up with all that and then some. Starting with the moment I woke up, there was a $100 donation glowing in my in-box, that was exactly what I needed to make rent, I just sat there in awe and gratitude and so much more than that, that sometimes, I cannot even move (or write what my heart feels in gratitude.) And then I called the billing department of my internet provider, just to vent. Forget lag these days, my internet connection drops all day long and even rebooting doesn’t give me the ability to even send an email out. She gave me a 50% credit for this coming billing cycle.
And then, my second reading of the day… OMG it was one of those connections, those understandings that are so full and complete that are becoming orgasmic in nature. (I will get to that sharing… smile.) I no sooner hung up from my state of bliss with my lady and I received an email from a friend that filled in many more blanks of understanding. (I will share bits and pieces of that too)
Then my landlady comes in bearing an arm full of mail that I didn’t have the time to open because I was still in reading mode. The mail contained two very personal, very… god, heart-moving presents for me. One, a coffee mug made especially for me with my dad and grandson and the new Mesa glow on it. The other, a heart-made acrylic ring that housed flakes of gold, chakra energy, and sooo much more (I will have pictures on my facebook later) I could barely move. The energy of love that permeates your gifts, your absolute love for me, truly leaves me speechless (and seems to crash my internet too, other than one thank you, I had no ability to send emails yesterday…ummm pretty much in January!) And trust me, thank you cannot even come close to what I feel inside and outside.
And so I pondered… Love. Divine Love. Unconditional Love. Family Love.
So many people ask me why I get up and share like I do as often as I do and for free. It is for all the Loving reasons listed above. Like a mother who gets up and loves her children every day, rain or shine, sniffle or ache, because she is madly in love with her family. It is never an obligation, but a burning desire in the core. In my pondering last evening, what on earth would have you take me into your heart so deeply, so personally and it comes back to the very same thing (and what is wonderfully funny, my son just called out of the blue as I was feeling this whole paragraph. I sooo love how REAL the real LOVE is expressing thru us!! Can I just say, with every fiber of my heart and soul… THANK YOU, each and every one of YOU for loving me sooo much in so many life enriching, soul expanding ways. I FEEL YOU, ALL-WAYS!!
I seemed to have sought my whole life to feel love, real, unconditional love. What seems to have been withheld from me in childhood (as my own lessons) and even my youth… is flooding me so much Now, thru each of you, that some days, I have got to remember to breathe.
(Can you tell I am having an elongated, deep inner moment!)
How on earth could almost 5 hours have passed since I started this sharing…? I am so enveloped in a field of energy that seems to have its own agenda for this particular sharing. Because I really want to talk about the readings yesterday, and instead, I get a scrambled brain channel the moment I try and change my emotional field/focus to that. I suppose, either later or tomorrow I WILL share that, but my day is about to start with readings in thirty minutes, so I have got to share what spirit keeps placing in front of my eyeballs.
The email I was sent yesterday by a wonderful woman talked about something I never heard of (of course, I have not heard of a lot things out there.) The Cosmic Cube. I AM going to share what she sent in relationship to the cosmic cube, which I instantly recognized as that cube from Hellraiser and sharing from the other day:
The Guardians have been showing me over the last weeks (in the middle of the night at 3 am) the imprint of the schematic of the Divine Mind of God upon the third eye in the center of our brain. What this means is that the actual Living Divine Plan of God is projected as a geometric schematic of the “Divine Will” blueprint as through Its “All Seeing Eye”. This “All Seeing Eye” of God is coming to reside as the Living Presence in our re-wired brain. The All Seeing Eye of God projects its Divine Mind blueprint as an imprinted Geometric Tesseract called the Cosmic Cube Matrix. …”
