Visionkeeper - Addictions…

     I say that, because I know exactly what you're talking about.  Addictions are what I'm dealing with right now, and they're holding me back from moving forward in my life...and it sucks!

     Regarding the internet, I'm off and on the computer ALL DAY LONG.  I may stop to watch something on t.v. or feed the cats or myself, but for the most part, I'm forever gazing at my carefully selected sites.  Long ago after I woke up from my kundalini experience, it was necessary for me to get on the cp to learn all that I could regarding the subject of ascension.  So, I have been spending over 10 years + on this thing, learning, day after day after day. 

     Other addictions I'm having difficulty with are cigarette smoking and pot smoking.  Eating sweets comes to mind, too.  I've thought about these problems long and hard lately, and this is what I've learned:

     All my life I've been fat.  There has been only 3 or 4 times in my life I was nearly at my desired weight.  I had to use my willpower to get there.  Unfortunately, I didn't stay there long.  I'd revert right back to old habits that brought me back to being fat.  It's been a "routine" that's been very frustrating.

     The last time I lost all my flab (which was 75 lbs or more), was not long ago.  It was most of 2012, up to September.  Looking back to that, I find that the culprit was "fear".  Fear of the unknown, fear of change, and fear of being unsuccessful.  One really has to look at themselves to understand their pathetic, continuous patterns.  Now, I'm at a deeper perspective of it all.  A real crossroads, if you will.  I now understand that not only is it the unknown, change and unsuccessful insecurites, but the EGO.  The ego is sabotaging my desire to move forward in my life.  All of those times I had the willpower to succeed, I now have difficulty finding the much needed willpower.

     You see, all of those times I was successful in losing the weight, I had to back away from the computer, and stop eating the sweets, cigarette and pot smoking.  Eating sugar goes without saying.  Pot smoking, of course, because it made me have the munchies, and fogged my brain.  Those who are pot smokers know this.  I had to stop the cigarettes, because I used walking to lose the weight.  Smoking cigarettes and walking doesn't really go hand in hand.  Those who walk alot know this as well.  Plus, if I didn't back away from the computer, I would'nt be out there walking.  So, I know I HAVE the willpower to correct my addictions, but my ego is fighting me every step of the way.  And, as I write this, I have to say that I'm still having a very difficult time of it.  Even though my desire is strong to stop doing all the things that are holding me back, I still do them.  I.E., ADDICTIONS.

     Looking more clearly, in order to ascend, one must have a clear mind.  Meaning, NO POT SMOKING!  And, one must relinquish all habits and attachments to the 3D world of illusion.  If one can do that, then you reach your desired goal.  The question is, how bad do we want it???  Do we want it bad enough to "fire the ego" and move forward?   And, CAN we do it?  Finding the willpower to get up and do something to achieve a goal is one of the hardest things to do.  I know it is for me.

     For me, it seems that it comes down to one thing; how bad do I want that desired goal?  How bad do I want to ascend?  Do I want it bad enough to have a better life and be a part of something so wonderful and exciting that will help Humanity and Gaia, or do I want things to stay the way things are because I'm afraid of failing? 

     For you and your computer, may I ask the same thing?  What are your reasons for staying on the computer?  Are you afraid of letting go?  Are you afraid of the unknown?  Are you afraid of failing?  These are questions worth asking yourself.  These are also the hard questions you have to dig deep down to find the answers.  Sure, you enjoy the computer.  Sure, you're learning alot.  Sure, you'd miss information if you walked away.  Sure, you could keep "wanting", but at what cost?  Personally, I don't think that the computer could keep you from ascending.  I believe that it's the "belief" that you gotta be attached to it that will hold you back.  I.E.; ATTACHMENTS.

     It's amazing what we learn when we dig deep within ourselves, but in order to ascend, it's something we HAVE to do to be happy or happier. 

Blessings of Love and Light to you Visionkeeper, and all those with addictions and attachments.

d'tewa