conversations with my twin flame

“I have never loved you more” ~ these are the words I heard my Beloved tell me this morning soon after I awoke. I asked him “Why? I was weak! I didn’t even have the courage to jump off the edge of the abyss I found myself on last night..” He answered “That is because you had the strength to walk away. You see only your weakness, I see your strength.”

I told him I felt terrible for allowing myself to fall into such despair again, and he told me to be gentle on myself, because by allowing myself to experience despair I had unlocked further negative emotions that were waiting to be released.

Then he said “Be gentle with yourself and stop judging yourself. Stop trying to be perfect. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already ARE perfect, so set yourself FREE from the straight-jacket of perfection you’re inclined to wear, and just BE yourself. You are BEAUTIFUL! ”

I have my whole life been hard on myself, so much so that I forget to be gentle. I have judged myself so often that it’s become second nature; a norm. As women we are by nature loving, gentle and compassionate creatures. So WHY do we have such high expectations of ourselves? WHY can we not just BE gentle and forgiving on ourselves.

Thank God for my Soul, my Beloved Twin Flame, for he knows me better now than I know myself. He has pulled me back from the edge of my self-created abyss time and time again over the past year.  This he does with his ABSOLUTE love for me.

This card came to mind today ~ Archangel Sandalphon ~ Gentleness

“Be very gentle with yourself at this time. Surround yourself with gentle people, situations and environments.”

Five days ago I wrote this message on my personal Facebook page:

“You are almost there, every now and then you catch sight of the light at the end of the tunnel before it disappears again. The road has been a long one and the boots you’re wearing are heavy and they’re killing you, but you don’t give up. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. This journey. You didn’t want it to be easy. You wanted to test your conviction, your faith, your trust, your belief in yourself. So you took the difficult road instead of the easy one. The long route instead of the short and more gentle one. You fight back the tears and carry on going. Soon you will see the spark of light appear again. You’re almost there. You know you’re not alone now. There is someone else on this journey with you. He is helping you, guiding you. He encourages you and whispers loving words in your ears. You trust him, but its not him you need to trust. Its yourself. But you know one thing. You’re not a quitter, you’re a fighter. You’re a warrior. Not far to go now. You’re almost there..”

It’s been a crazy day and the intense energy from the New Moon hasn’t made it any easier. Today’s conversation is rather personal, but I’ve decided to share it anyway. I’ve had to make a decision to leave Mexico and go back to my home in South Africa to be with my elderly Mother. I have delayed going back because I’ve been afraid of losing the independent life I’ve made for myself here in Mexico. Michael addresses my fears.

Tell me what else you are afraid of my love.

I don’t want to lose you.

That is not going to happen. What else?

I don’t want to lose myself.

I won’t let that happen either. Anything else?

What if I can’t handle all their negativity and become miserable and depressed?

That is not going to happen either. I won’t let it. Trust me okay?

I do, I’m sorry. They don’t understand me. They don’t understand my beliefs and they don’t respect them. They don’t believe I can talk to angels…

I know beloved. But it does not matter what they believe. It does not change who you are.

I know. I guess it has been bothering me that I should go back when I don’t really want to. But if I don’t I feel I will regret it. I know my Mother will not be here in the Earth realm much longer. She misses me so much and I feel so guilty that I am not there with her.

Yes I know. Your purpose in going back is two-fold my love.

What do you mean Michael?

You being there will make her very happy. But there is something else. She needs you to help her pass over.

Before I even had a chance to open my eyes this morning I was hearing these words “There are no guarantees in life. You want guarantees? Then create them because that is what you are. A Creator. You create what you see around you. You’ve created all of it. If you don’t like what you see, then change it.”

Omg! Where did that come from?

From Creator.

Don’t start that again, please!

Okay, it came from me. I put those words into your head so that you would have something to think about.

Why? I have barely woken up!

Because I want you to get up and start writing our conversation for today.

You’re kidding!

Yes I am! How did you know? I miss you…

Me too darling… When are you going to come into my dreams?

Soon my love.

Soon?

Yes darling.

When is soon? Before New Moon? Because you don’t have ‘time’ up there on your ‘ranch in the sky’, so how do you know what soon means?

[Lol] It will be soon beloved.

Okay. By the way, you didn’t plug those words into my brain for nothing. Where are you going with this?

You know me well beloved! I want to talk about this subject today and I want you to use my name.

No way are you serious!

Yes I am! It’s time people know who I am.

I don’t believe it! Why now?

I told you. I want people to know who your Twin Flame is.

But why now? Why not before?

Because you were not ready before. You had some doubts.

And I don’t anymore?