HELP: LIGHTWORKER GONE DARK

I, too, have been experiencing these very same issues. I've been fully awake since around May 2012; my awakening started in 2007.

I KNOW I have creative ability. I KNOW I am POWERFUL. I KNOW there is nothing to fear, except fear itself.

So why do we fall back into old patterns?

I feel that it is that last purge of darkness. That last purge of fear. And as we purge it, that energy is moving through us to move out and it feels the same as when we experience it.

The vibrations I get through your message today tells me that I must be doing something right, because I'm not alone. You are not alone. Though we may not have people in our close physical proximity who are recognizing, we do have each other.

Thank you for sharing and being brave enough to express your fears.

Together, we shall overcome the Darkness.

~Namaste

Shauna Lin

Part of your problems is because you took a "physical reality hiatus". This created an imbalance, and now you're swinging the "other way" which is making things very difficult. If you want real Peace, your spiritual and phsyical lives must be in balance. We're here to transform the physical, yet many Lightworkers attempt to ignore it entirely, which just divides them in half. This creates a "heaven" and a "hell" that they drift between and this creates an experience similar to manic depression. So long as you're incarnate, you're going to have to acknowledge the physical, otherwise all the emotional junk is just going to build up and up and up and up until it explodes and then you have to deal with a whole lot of ugly emotions coming at you all at the same moment.

Integration is key, and the people who are truly satisfied with their physical lives are the ones who have learned to bring Spirit into everything they are. You're really not moving backwards or becoming dark, worrying about that type of thing just slows down your own development. You've simply entered a new stage in your personal evolution, one where you take what you've learned from the Higher Realms and use that to transform your physical experience.

RIGHT NOW as i type this im focusing on sending u my feelings of the lessons i learned in this area. pay attention to how much you PATIENCE is being exercised and stretched out these rought imes. it will PASS and our light family always remind us of this in their channelings! they have been warning us about how intense this round will be, i know im so young, but as my blog shows my first near death experience happened when i was only 21 around 2007, my twin flame that I AM connected to was sparked barely a month ago if that, which i also posted in the forums about. (i share a few things on there every now and then :p ), but i have come to understand it as coming "full circle" once i realize in in the shitter again with things i THOUGHT i conquered and moved on from, but its almost like that last full circle was a rough draft and now i gotta proof thru my lessons cuz i more than likely left something out i was supposed to learn, or didnt recognize any of those signs at all! i share your pain BELIEVE ME! please, im feeling a connection. but anyways when i find myself back at that point of peace and love after the rough patch gets patched up, i will have time to reflect on the details and explore what i learned, what i could have but maybe didnt learn, how (if at all) i changed, and i remind myself how much stronger i feel, the tougher the obstacle was.  

if i was to draw my visual out of how i view this experience bundle, it would be an upward spiral getting wider and wider as the challenges become tougher and tougher every time i come "Full circle"! i pretend that area inside those layers are  is my consiousness awareness, or maybe the notes i took down mentally somewhere and they are always there to remind me. 

you're gunna have to spend some time ALONE and AWAY from who and what make u feel like shit! sorry to be blunt but no matter how much it sucked and how many friends and family members who no longer talk to me, it was still the best thing to ever happen to me because NOW I DONT HAVE TO DEAL with them anymore! the more the positive outweigh the negative, the better it is for me :) 

i hope this helps you in some ways. love and peace of mind to you beloved

in love and LIGHT

-Steve! 

i love you!

By actively helping others, you will help yourself.

Dear one, last night I became depressed and had a terrible nightmare. Someone where I live tried to engage me in a political argument. One of my new close friends is dealing with the soon-to-be death of her beloved cat.

Everyone I have tried to reach out to about this joy, this love, seems uninterested. Even when I am very subtle, many people here either do not have any idea of what i am trying to tell them, or they step away from me. LOL, "Step away from the messenger", at least they are not killing the messenger.

These times, with the US Presidential elections and the many other huge debates amongst the people of this earth, create a kind of miasma that is very hard to not be touched by, especially when you are empathic.

Even our love party on Weds. was touched by this phenomenon, when we were talking about the Sedona meeting that GFP was not invited to, and about how much they are charging to attend their meeting. It is that same energy of division that the politics of our time are enforcing and engendering. I stayed for a very long time, but it was not as cheerful for me as it usually is. Even in the lightworker community, there are politics, and it is not pretty. We still have the "spiritual entrepreneurs" who use the talents of the spirit to enrich themselves.

The WONDERFUL thing is that you trust us enough to reach out to us, and we are here to support you! And that also means that anyone in this spiritual family, we all can help each other. I went a little dark last night myself. I was reading a book called "The Red Queen", about the War of the Roses. It was not a cheerful book. But I have had past lives in that area, near that time frame, and it helps me to release when I read about these times. I finally went to sleep, still upset despite a nice meditation, and had a roiling nightmare about the job I am retired from.

Even people who are not AWAKE can feel the contentiousness of these times. How much more so, those of us who are awake feel these things, and when we release them, we are also clearing the atmosphere, so to speak, for the ones not yet AWAKE, to be able to see more clarity.

By "going dark" you have performed a service to the planet, to every living being in the universe. It's painful, but we are strong. You are strong to bring this to our attention. And we LOVE You, we are with you, and I say to you, This Too Shall Pass.

Love and blessings, Astreia

It seems a lot of us had a moment yesterday. I had been doing great with the energy for weeks now and look forward to them. Yesterday, however, I went out to do some work  with someone I normally am not around and she had a headache for days. I didn't realize it until back at work when suddenly I got a splitting headache that made no sense. I took off an hour and decided to stay home today as it was still there but not as bad. I decided to take care of myself. I did a one hour meditation but even that didn't do it so I went on a quick errand and to the park for meditation. That did the trick. I had no idea but I was gone 3 hours, most of that at the park and feel like a new person. While meditating I saw my emerald green chakra open up and all the fairies, gnomes, inner earth beings fly away and knew the collective had just been strengthened. I then realized my fear of what if it isn't there when my third eye gave me the chance to open the door I had been waiting on. I opened the door and pure white engulfed me before seeing the beauty inside. I so wanted to stay in this place but knew I had to return to fulfill my mission. I have been to this place many times but this time I was told it was only minutes away-5D time. Still it means soon for me. Bottom line is for me I have found if I can't center anywhere else the outdoors is the place to go. I am seeing things change all around me now and know it won't be long. Somehow I let duality in yesterday which happens without knowing it so don't beat yourself up. Give yourself some tender loving care.

Namaste

You just temporaily forgot who you are, God. Now don't foget that again or I will return to remind you.

I lost my beautiful, wonderful best wife and mother one could ever hope to be blessed with. It took me down for over a month until I finally figured it out?? After many one-way converstations with her, it dawned on me, she is doing much better than I. Why? Due to the Light House She now resides in. I have taught in many workshops not to cop the "poor me" syndrom. Imagine that? I didn't loose my powrer, but gave it away. What a dork.

I talked my way not only out of the depths of what I let me go to, but now am much Higher on the totumpool of Spritual Consciousness.

So my weakness gave me the desire for streath and this I choose and now am stronger in the knowledge that I AM GOD and just forgot for a bit.

I even wrote the book on it. "Remember Who You Are" The Awakening. I will get it down some day as it was chanelled to me before I knew much about chanelling. It is so good that I have read it over 20 times so far.

May the Force be with you, as it cannot "be" without You.

In order to overcome the dark you must recognise the dark in yourself. God is one, and these dark ones that you see in your outside reality are a part of who you are; the fact that you are feeling these things in your internal reality is a testament to this. It is not about denying these dark ones, it is about being at peace with them. The things we see as dark have served some purpose in our past, for example the obsession with control has served to help us feel safe and secure. So recognise these feelings in yourself, release your judgement of it and realise that it is OK. Dark or light, nothing manifests without love, dark is simply the love of something that someone else doesn’t recognise as being worthy of love.

You have spent the last year integrating the light aspects of yourself, and now you are ready to use this light to turn and face your dark. It is not about eliminating the 'dark' for there really is no dark, it is about finding a balance. This is done by changing your core values and beliefs, which in turn changes the way you perceive your external world. Your internal world is simply showing you that you hold the full range of emotions inside yourself, and all of them can be drawn upon in any given situation. When you are less aware you may resort to responding to a situation by trying to control it because this is the only option that you recognise as being available to you. As your awareness grows so do the number of options at your disposal and instead of feeling the need to control you may instead recognise that the situation is all part of the divine plan you have for yourself, and so even though you do not consciously recognise the reason for it, you realise that there is a purpose, your own purpose, and so you can relax and simply go with it rather than choosing to fight against it.

Love of power is not wrong for example, we should all feel empowered, but this needs to be balanced with a love of compassion. I’m sure you can imagine the difference these two perspectives could make in how someone in your external reality might treat you depending on their own balance of power and compassion.

Don’t worry, the light is still there with you, it is simply being compartmentalised temporarily to allow you recognise the dark aspects as a part of yourself. By doing this you will transform the dark aspects around you, and instead of feeling fearful and responding in ways to protect themselves they will transform into the greater beings that they are and you will recognise the light in them too.

I think everyone has been going through this at the moment, certainly this is true for me. I have done something that 15 years ago I never thought I would do. It has hurt someone I love very much and yet I have to be true to myself. I know it is right and I am following my instinct, but it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have had to recognise myself as a 'bad' person and it has brought up a lot of insecurities that I thought I was over. It is working out though, slowly but surely, so hang in there :o)