~Surrender~

This is lovely stuff.  I truly wish this new reality would manifest in a matter of days.  By Friday the 31st of January I am being kicked out of the place I currently live.  There is no way that I see for this not to happen.  Shortly after that I will live in my car I suppose for a bit.  Then my life will most likely be brought to a close by dying of exposure.  I will finally be released from life on the dirtball.  Sorry I don't think a miracle will occur before then but nice hope nonetheless.

I am really moved by your posts friend.  I feel a lot as you do sometimes close to despair that things will ever change.  I am truly sorry for your predicament - I too am up against it I am heavily in debt working in a harsh foreign country just to survive etc.  Many of us have been pushed one way or t'uther to the edge - now, on the edge of the cliff face, what do you do?  Yet although things stubbornly and inanely if that's a word don't seem to change much on the outside - and like you I am so tired of this broken record of promises of what is yet to come, its wonders, but on the other hand I do feel unmistakably different on the inside.  At Christmas, J came to me and said gently within me it is time for the Rapture and ever since though life is still difficult I just don't believe it anymore, what I see through my senses is somehow peripheral to who I really am and it's Who I Am that consumes me.  May I suggest at the risk of platitude that you have as much faith as possible most of all in your deep Self, that will see you through and guide you.  You are being driven to that make or break point of choiceless choice, in a  way it is a grace .  I feel like a bird singing to the dawn in the pitch darkeness just as i heard the other day in the early morn! It can be really scarey but just remember we are all as seekers in the same boat I stand and sail with you God Luck!

   Al