I have been going through the ascension process for over a year now and it's been dizzying, terrifying, breathtaking and overall insane. I have spent this time opening up to my gifts, giving in to who I am and what I am trying to do. But I'm so scared. I am on that final strip, the dive into surrender. The problems I have always faced are inside me. I have horrible confidence issues. I want to become that divine instrument, be a co-creator, travel to speak with the Galactic Council and be who I am destined to be.

But I just don't know what to do. I want to believe in myself, I want to feel that I deserve to heal and be here and be one with the Universe. I want to sell my artwork and jewelry, learn everything that interests me, spend my whole life traveling and healing the world. But I constantly feel as though I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve to do these things. The Creator doesn't speak to me, all I feel is a sense that he expects me to do it and to give up on fear otherwise he will not give me what I ask for. I do not say that as a self-defeating sense, it is something that I see and feel.

How do I change my inside? How do I let myself be confident and get a job, have the inspiration and motivation to do and sell my artwork? How do I let go of the expectations of my parents and just let myself be who I want to be? - There's something in me that knows but I am blocking the doorway and I am so afraid.

Channeling from Archangel Metatron: On the Illusion of Time

Guidance ---

Love is the only reality. Love of Self and all Others is the key to re-entering the only reality.

The illusion you live within is mired by ignorance of the Cosmic Laws. It is not that all of you do not know cosmic law, for you do, it is that you ignore cosmic law.  This is your ignorance. You bind your mental process to the concept of linear time, and then the illusion is ingrained in all that you do. Therefore, to ascend and enlighten you must unbind yourself from the linear concept of time. For you, since childhood, have been asking  and asking of the ignorant, of those who ignore cosmic law, you have been asking, “What is Time?” In essence, time is a timeout from Instantaneous Manifestation, and linear time exists in an illusionary un-reality where All That Is encourages you to examine your intents, your beliefs, and your weaker thinking in order that you can perceive all components in the Law of Manifesting in a clear way. Time does not exist. It is only your belief in Time that exists, and then you co-manifest an illusion in which to experience the weak thinking that manifests as Linear Time, so that you can examine your weaker thought processes.

Where does this weak thinking come from? This comes from the idea that you can not love yourself completely and eternally in all your manifestations, for better or worse. For you are always complete, yet you may think of yourself as incomplete, which is not possible for you are always completely of All That Is eternally. This weak thinking manifests as the illusion known as separation, but you are never separate. You are always fully connected with All That Is, always fully composed of All That Is, and forever and eternally both an individual part And the Totality of All That is, within and without.