By William DeVore
While walking in the woods today I came upon a turtle. Completely still, right in front of me it stood, legs and neck extended as if looking for something. I thought this peculiar and as I too stood still, felt as if we might be connected in some way.
As I look back on my life, I realize I've never been able to see much ahead most of the time, and consequently have never had a good sense of where I was going. At the same time I never felt comfortable where I found myself and was driven to seek; a peculiar combination and one that brought little sense of peace for most of my life.
When I was young, I most always felt inferior -- felt rather lowly -- and never stood up quite as high as everyone else in my estimation, though I was tall in stature. Socially everyone else seemed much faster, moving easily along on his or her seemingly clear paths through life. I always felt different and ashamed -- not good enough -- and never felt like I fit. As I grew into adulthood, I did become somewhat more comfortable with life having fashioned a protective shell of social sophistication that kept my enduring secret safely hidden.