Releasing Old Habits

Submitted by Stasha beLOVEd on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 06:21

Hello my beautiful babies!

 

What a week it has been, eh?

 

Yesterday was a monumental day of release for me.

 

We all know the things we "should" do to assist us on this journey, but knowing, doing and being are all quite different.

 

I had been feeling this dull sense of sadness that I was simply numbing out for a very long time. 

 

As a child I never really fit in.

 

I had an xtremely high IQ, yet the social behavior of a butterfly.

 

I could see and hear spirits, angels and extra terrestrials, but never told a soul.

 

It got to a point where I began to get scared of these things, so I told my parents what I saw.

 

They simply laughed it off when I was young, so I kinda tucked it in my back pocket.

 

As I grew older, my experiences mulitplied, and I began to have experiences with human angels that came in and out of my life, telling me that I was special, or different and not from this world. This made me feel comforted, but also quite scared.

 

These people never stayed in my life for long and at times I was the only person who could see or hear them, so trying to talk to a friend or family member about this became extremely unbelievable to the rest.

 

When I was a teenager, the people who visited me became very dark, mysterious and at times deceptive. Things like Freemasonry were explained to me, along with books and symbols I had never heard of nor seen before.

 

With my father being in the military I had internet access at a very young age, which was not such a good thing for a curious and confused mind such as mine.

 

The more research I did on these subjects, the more scared I became.

 

I couldnt hold back any more and started lashing out in confusion.

 

 

My parents did not understand nor know what to do with me, and placed me into several psychiactric hospitals. I believe I was placed into three of them by the time I was 17. 

 

These places were horrific. They did far more damage then good.

 

The programs created to help us, only made me feel more guilty about who I was.

 

Then the prescription drugs started.

 

I was diagnosed with everything from bipolar to scizophrenic, but none of the drugs or counseling worked, none of it worked...

 

What the hell was wroing with me then?

 

I leanred to stop fighting back, took my pills and dubmed myself back down in order to fit in with the rest of 3D Earth... but I never felt happy.

 

Over time the drugs simply stopped working altogether, and I had grown numb and apathetic. 

 

Fast forward to 2010.

 

I met with a doctor who said, hey... youre not biploar... you have ADHD!

 

I had eliminated all street drugs and alcohol from my body several years before this and , I had never taken any medicine like what they gave me for ADHD...but it seemed to work!

 

My memories from childhood started coming back and slowly, I started to awaken and remember who I was again.

 

This was exhilerating for me! I had hope that maybe I had found something that would help me deal with my 3D life.

 

I also knew that I better keep these things to myself as I did not want to be judged again or called crazy.

 

But his medicine, along with all of the others stopped working too.

 

I have slowly weaned myself off of these medications, but the physical and mental withdrawals can be intense. They make you doubt yourself an physically incapable of doing ... well, anything.

 

Yesterday my heart was overflowing, with so many emotions.... so so many.

 

I went on a long walk after I wrote my blog about my broken heart yesterday and felt so free. I went to the store to grab a few items and walked past the pharmacy counter...

 

With a brand new RX in my wallet, I normally would walk to the counter and eagerly fill er up! But this time was different... What should I do? 

 

I put the RX back in my wallet... and walked away.

 

When I was at the checkout line I observed the cashier, she was stressed, speeding around the place and cutting everyone off that she spoke to. I witnessed her unraveling right in front of me. It hit me... that was ME!

 

I looked at her, and said... hey honey, you know what... sometimes if you slow down, you will go much farther. You will never get caught up... something will always need to be done... and that is OK. We're not in a hurry. We will all get there. and i simply smiled.

 

She looked shocked and almost defensive...then She paused, I watched her chest rise and fall and a HUGE deep breath released from her body and soul.

 

She smiled back and I saw tears in her eyes.

 

"Thank you... thank you SO MUCH"...

 

I looked back at all of the folks in line behind me who were all tapping their feet, checking their watches, hurry hurry hurrry... everyone was in such a hurry.

 

I said to them, its ok... we will ALL get there.

 

All oif their faces fixed upon me... they all responded in the same way.

 

Shock, release and smiles.

 

They got it.

 

I grabbed my groceries and walked away.

 

I may not have it all figurd out, but moments like this show me, that we will all be OK.

 

I didnt save a life or stop world hunger ... but in that moment I knew that I had done my job. I knew that I had made the right decision... in that moment.

 

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know that each day I can do one small thing in order to change my life, behavior and habits for the better.

 

I came home and slept for 12 hours and woke up feeling totally out of it... but I also feel free. Free from the medications, free from the self judgement, and FREE to start living.

 

I love you all

 

xo

 

 

Clarissalynn

Sat, 04/28/2012 - 09:04

I have been a teacher for 29 years, and noticed that about 10 years ago, many of my kids were diagnosed bipolar as was my husband... after 5 horrific years on meds... he too weened himself off.  ADHD is a wonderful gift, I have it too as does my husband.  BUT there were no drugs for me, I just got hollered at a lot! it was my mother who took the tranqualizers before I got home from school.  But, now that I am 60 years old, and have grown accustombed to getting hollered at by people that don't see the world as I do, I smile, knowing that those of us that are gifted with the "disorder" are from another place, smarter than the average bear, and notice things in far greater detail than most.  

 

Some things that I found to be helpful in navigating this 3D experience is a day planner filled out the night before, including what I am going to wear that next day. B-complex by the hand fulls also helps.  If you really get bad a 1/2 xanax works wonders... I have a prescription for 30 which gets me through an entire year... 

 

You see, when the 5D hits, we'll be the ones that don't need the drugs and the others will.  We need to be there for them, unlike they had been there for us, as we understand by first hand experience, the pain of not fitting in.  

 

We got to learn to love first...  it will be nice to teach them too.  Love Clarissalynn

that was such a wonderful response, thank you

these issues are the deepest and darkest dust clouds left in my soul and i need to get them all out.... i understand and know these things at my core, but man,,, this illusion can be confusing, scary and sad.

each day i wake up a little more,

bit by bit///

 

i will get there

 

love

xoxo

Guest (not verified)

Sat, 04/28/2012 - 12:06

The "group" is so very proud of your work to heal!  

 

This is for others, not you, dearest.... just gives me a format here. My gut feeling is that you might be able to help others in this area, if you are so inclined. 

 

Just an aside that really is very important.... and I know many will like to shoot this messenger today.... but it is very difficult to get into 5 D with scripts. Period. BECAUSE they put holes in the aura. They are not life. They are not light. So I imagine it is very difficult for someone in that situation to get very positive results from the meditations, healing work, ACIM or whatever path they are taking to move more into the light. 

 

For EVERY TRUE MALADY, which usually does not include ADD AND ADHD mother earth provides at least 10 plants which can help and eleviate.  Now, my dearest friends, since I am an old fart, let me tell you.... almost all of the ADD AND ADHD are personalities which have passion about life. The kids LOVE LIFE. They are supposed to run around and be free. They were not meant to sit still at age 5 for hours at a time. Can you read between my lines? If you haven't watched the classic film "The Stepford Wives" that is exactly what has resulted in our society. 

 

I have the qualifications to tell you all of these things.

 

I love you Stasha!  I feel you... I know you... I trust you... you are great!

 

And WHOEVER has told you to never say "thank you"... that is insanity.  One of the basic cosmic truths is for a galactic being to show appreciation, and as a galactic human "thank you" works.  Why does it work?  The universe wants movement.  When we say thank you, it creates a space for more to come in.  I believe it was Stuart Wilde how decades ago taught us to say thank you to everyone all day long to bring in the greatness of life. 

 

So I give you a HUMONGOUS  big THANK YOU for being you, for being in my life, for your wisdom, for being willing to learn from your life, for being willing to consciously choose, and on and on!  Sometimes words just aren't enough.  And I don't want you to bring up that old wall that kept you from believing things like this.... take it all in!  Take it all in...

 

 

heart feeling that one...

good ouch.. not bad one

i feel as though I have my "training wheels" on right now, because as you said... the aura has holes... at age 33, to have taken medications since i was 14, that is half of my life, so mentally and physically i have become quite dependent on them. 

but no matter how mentally weak i am... my spirit is ever-so strong and no matter how much is thrown at me... i never give up. i cannot lie to myself, and when i lose my way, divine intervention always come through for me.

i know the group have my back

and they will shout it at me if they have to ;)

i will continue to grow and change, i even bought healthier groceries that day!

healthier choices, focusing on light.

opening my heart and fillinf it back up with love 

xoxo

eve

i mean... stasha

;)

Stasha,

I know about feeling separate from others as I am an Indigo child. I have a high Indigo child( now grown) that had ADHD. To some extent, even though he has mostly outgrown and learned how to deal with it, under certain circumstances it still appears. He still feels he knows everything from his perspective, about everything and he does from his perspective. This was the largest block for us to overcome. We as parente has to figure out which battles were worth fighting over and which to let go of.
His younger years were the most hard for him and us. He did meds that helped control his impulses for appro 6 yrs and then stopped.
I believe now that the ADHD kids are just more advanced and it is hard for them to fall into the illusion that has been set forth in society, education and beliefs. All kids are coming in more aware and will be ready to step in and guide us into the new 5th dimension changes that are coming to show us how to live in peace, joy and harmony. There is nothing wrong with these kids , adults or anyone that has ADHD or any other labeled illness like this..they are just biding there time when they can show their true selves and their brilliance and knowledge.
shine on!
Judi

Vendo (not verified)

Sat, 04/28/2012 - 16:48

Hi Stasha, ... what a great name!

 

Nice going in that store! ... It may sound small in print, but at the scene it was gutsy and heart centered, ... and not small.

 

Please do all that you know to do to nourish and honor your physical body, and remember that the energy that gives it life is the property of Gaia.

 

Please breathe Stasha, .... breathe consciously when uncomfortable emotions are stuck inside you. ... The pranic breath, .. the full multi-dimensional breath is initiated by the muscles at the base of the abdomen, between the legs. The same muscles used for elimination, .. called the perineum. Have the intention to gently push out and release the muscles to start each breath. You can feel it most easily when standing, ... release and drop the muscles to initiate the breath. it is easy and natural, .. and fills your whole system with life force energy called prana that frees emotions to flow, .. as well as nourishes the whole body. And so easy to do in all positions with just a little practice.  ... Breathe fine girl!

 

The base of that 1st chakra is the junction point of earth physiology and your physiology, ... and will also help to ground you to Gaia as this energy flows from the cosmos through you to the earth, and from earth through you to the cosmos. .... Think flow ... flow ... flow.

 

No more time left now, ... off again. .... hope you will try it and see.

 

Bye til next time, ... love to you

Quick Links

Donate Via PayPal:



Awakening Daily
Our sister-site, with more articles and a newspaper format

<p>Welcome to the Galactic Free Press blogs section! This is a place where anybody with <a href="/galacticfreepress/user/register">a free GFP account</a> can post information.</p>

YOU ARE GOD