I pulled a card today. (It was the Knight of Cups, in case you're interested, this same card was pulled on 2/2. There is a reading for that day.) I couldn't connect to get anything written for it. I was guided to write this instead.
This is my "reiki story." It changes my life each and every day, always in an unexpected way.
My Reiki journey started while we were searching for honeymoon spots. As soon as we came across the page for Tree Spirit, my (then soon to be) husband and I knew that was the one. Advertised as a “’old island’ style beach cottage”, it boasted no TV, no phone, no clocks. You came there to be there. Perfect! Not to mention it was treated energetically with Reiki, crystals and other ineffable resources. At the time, I had no idea what any of that meant, which is kind of funny to think about now. I did a quick internet search about Reiki, but I only came back with a very, very basic concept of what Reiki is.
Fast-forward to May. We arrive at the cottage. Just stepping onto the property was an experience in and of itself. I remember feeling calm, immediately. The owner was just leaving the cottage as we arrived. We exchanged pleasantries and she looked at us like she “knew” something. I can’t explain it. Maybe our souls knew each other from past lives (I’ve heard that if many Reiki practitioners have been attuned in past lives, and that is why we’re drawn to do so again.) Maybe she was amused by my little kid in a candy shop sense of wonder (this was my first time visiting the ocean). I think now, that she knew eventually Reiki would hold a prominent position in my life.
It wasn’t until August of that year when I became Level I attuned. The morning of, I was in an awful state. I had gotten over my depression, but instead of being fixated on the past I was now anxious about what could happen. Joshua drove me into town, as he was working during the same hours that I’d be taking my class. I think I cried the whole way in. I was panicked about spending the afternoon with a group of people I had never met. What would they think of me? What if I embarrass myself? What if I don’t fit in? That was the silliest thing to think now, as everyone I’ve met with an interest in Reiki has been a blessing to come across. Each person has a unique gift, a different perspective that leaves me in awe of this fascinating, powerful healing art.
The class passed without incident, except for me breaking down into tears during the introductions. At the time, I thought you had to be strong all the time. I was afraid of letting other people see me with my guards down. I know now, that sometimes that is the best thing you can do for yourself. Instead of being judged for crying, as I had feared, it was the complete opposite. I was surrounded by complete strangers who were outwardly comforting me, silently supporting me and fearlessly loving me.
In the months that have passed since my Level I attunement, I could count on one hand the number of panic attacks I’ve had. Pre-Reiki, I would have had that many attacks in a week’s time. My diet has changed. For the most part, I’m no longer able to eat processed food. Even though I’ve never been fat, I’ve lost upwards of 25 pounds. I did not practice Reiki much on others with my Level I attunement. I believe that for me, personally, the Level I attunement was a time for me to get to know myself, to get to know how powerful I am as an Unlimited being, having a temporary human existence. It was a time for me to understand that I do not have to follow the paths that others have laid down. It was a time when I finally figured out I need to create my own path.
I am on that path now, although I will admit I get a little lost in the woods sometimes. Reiki helps me find my way back, though. One of the main lessons of Reiki I’ve learned is to let go. Once you’ve loosened your grip, it’s time to go with the flow. The flow of Reiki is pure Love, plain and simple. Love, in all its glory, will only produce the outcome which leads to the highest possible goodness for ALL. Not for me, not for my family, but for every single person. I admit that it is difficult some days to release and let Spirit take me where It will but that’ something I have to do. I can no longer hold expectations of any kind if I am to follow my path. Because what “I” believe is best, may not be the best at all.
I am a few weeks into my Level II attunement and the level of power I feel is…indescribable. I don’t like using the word “power”, because it can come with so many negative ideas or connotations. Generally, people with power tend to abuse it. With Reiki, that is simply not possible. There are so many new things opened up for me since this attunement. I feel a greater connection with the Spirit world, and several times now I’ve been able to feel when a being decided to pop into a session.
I feel more guided, or maybe I should say more in tune with my guides, as they’ve always been there showing the way, cheering me on, lifting me up. I am able to recognize almost immediately when I’m doing something that isn’t what I should be doing at the moment, or if it’s something that would not be entirely beneficial in the end. I am able to relax fully, knowing that whatever I do the Universe is there to support me and correct me when I need it.
Most of all, I think, Reiki has freed me. I am no longer trapped within the beliefs of what others think I, as a young woman in her early twenties, should be. I am no longer held back by my own beliefs that I need to focus on making others happy. Reiki has helped me morph into an authentic Self. I no longer feel guilt or shame when I am doing something for myself. I no longer worry about what others think of how I look, the nonsensical things I say on a daily basis, the dances I do or the songs I make up when I’m feeling light and happy. I know that if others judge me or make fun, or if they simply can’t accept who or what I am that I do not have to make them an active participant in my life. I know that they cannot harm me, or bring me down because I know that I am surrounded with Love constantly. I know who I am. I know what I came here to do. I came here to help heal.
