If I had to pick a theme of my introspection lately it's pretty much been "How am I not myself?" and that's what I'm going to write about today. I've never fit in much. I've typically been shy, quiet and introverted although that's changed A LOT over the past few years. It's changed the most since I've been able to connect with other like-minded people.

Today, in a meeting at work someone made a comment and said that she thought I would be pretty good at sucking up. At the time, I sort of smiled and shrugged it off while inside of me I wasn't quite sure how to feel. Should I feel offended? Is it a bad thing that people look at me like that? Do a majority of my peers see me that way? I suppose, though, I already have the answer to the last question.

I worked at a ice cream shop in high school (my favorite job hands down. and not just because of endless ice cream. I wish I could be a soda jerk forever...) Anyway, one my coworkers was a cute boy who ended up telling me one day that I tried too hard. Not the same comment, but similar. And you know what, he was right. I did try too hard. I didn't feel like I fit in and therefore I couldn't accept my true nature. I didn't want to be the weird girl so I made every effort possible to try and fit in with the cool crowd. I knew I was different. I thought that it was wrong so I shunned that part of me.

I remember going to the store when I was little and just wondering why everything cost money. I didn't get it! Why couldn't everyone just take what they needed and leave the extra for others? Yes, I was a socialist in my preschool years. Of course that was all buried once I got to school and got "programmed". (IT DIDN'T WORK! I AM AWAKE!)

Hot of the presses... Enjoy this wonderful interview with Host of New Realities Alan Steinfeld talking about the significance of 2012.

For those who have questions about why this date and this time is so important, I highly recommend you check out this interview.

For those brothers and sisters who are starting to feel fear around this date... LISTEN TO THIS SHOW... You will feel better and lighter and if you are like me, in complete heart space.

For the record, I am looking forward to this date... I am feeling the intensity of the love and light and the acceleration of time.

My being is calling for me to slow down, be present, and enjoy the sweetness of stillness.

Happy Awakenings!

love ya!!!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cafecitobreak/2012/12/04/cafecito-break-alan-steinfeld-on-the-significance-of-2012

Sources: New Realities.com & 2012 Scenario.com

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I've never been religious at all, but I was recently inspired to write some sort of prayer up for our family's Thanksgiving tomorrow. In looking for inspiration on the web, I came across this poem which brought tears (of joy and Love) to my eyes so I thought I'd share. I am planning to read it followed by a prayer before we eat.

Thanksgiving by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We walk on starry fields of white
And do not see the daisies,
For blessings common in our sight
We rarely offer praises.
We sigh for some supreme delight
To crown our lives with splendour,
And quite ignore our daily store
Of pleasures sweet and tender.

Our cares are bold and push their way
Upon our thought and feeling;
They hang about us all the day,
Our time from pleasure stealing.
So unobtrusive many a joy
We pass by and forget it,
But worry strives to own our lives,
And conquers if we let it.

There’s not a day in all the year
But holds some hidden pleasure,
And, looking back, joys oft appear
To brim the past’s wide measure.
But blessings are like friends, I hold,
Who love and labour near us.
We ought to raise our notes of praise
While living hearts can hear us.

Full many a blessing wears the guise
Of worry or of trouble;
Far-seeing is the soul, and wise,
Who knows the mask is double.
But he who has the faith and strength
To thank his God for sorrow
Has found a joy without alloy
To gladden every morrow.

We ought to make the moments notes
Of happy, glad Thanksgiving;
The hours and days a silent phrase
Of music we are living.
And so the theme should swell and grow
As weeks and months pass o’er us,
And rise sublime at this good time,
A grand Thanksgiving chorus.

'"May prayer strengthen us for the spiritual battle we are told about in the Letter to the Ephesians: 'Draw strength from the Lord and from His mighty power' (Ephesians 6:10). The Book of Revelation refers to this same battle, recalling before our eyes the image of St. Michael the Archangel (Revelation 12:7). Pope Leo XIII certainly had a very vivid recollection of this scene when, at the end of the last century, he introduced a special prayer to St. Michael throughout the Church. Although this prayer is no longer recited at the end of Mass, I ask everyone not to forget it and to recite it to obtain help in the battle against forces of darkness and against the spirit of this world."'