
Dear friends! Feels like I am finally able to breathe again after some very, very intense days. Judging from your comments, I am not the only one who have spent more time down at the bottom than on the surface of this beautiful little pond lately (thank you, Nohmad :–) ! ). I’ve been through much of the same as many of you, ranging from a lot of physical pain in the head, jaw and right side of the body, heavy fatigue, feeling weird about eating anything at all, and fighting off a panic attack when I woke up in the middle of the night feeling literally trapped inside a body that felt totally alien to me. It’s been like all I wanted to do was to just pull a blanket over my head and forget that I even existed. But at the same time, I have had moments of total clarity where I just KNOW that everything is OK, it will all happen at the exact right time, and I do not need to DO anything to make it happen. In fact, the message I got was ”stop trying so hard”, and the image they gave me was of salmons trying to fight their way up a waterfall. Or, as the CCs said in the last message: just surrender. It is tempting to try to ”push ahead” a little extra at times like these, when everything seems to be a bit unclear, and we feel the pull from whatever we have waiting for us at the other end. But the only thing that happens whenever I try to do this, is that I get frustrated. So now I keep reminding myself to just let it be and surrender to the flow, no matter how strong or how static it feels.