God said:
Beloved, once again I hear you speak from the depths of your heart. I hear you say:
“Beloved God, where would You like to take me today? From what discouragement will You lift me and to what heights?
“It seems I have been sleeping all my life. I didn’t know. I was hardly awake. I didn’t know where I was. It’s like I was in some kind of in-between land, yet I was also suffering anguish and doing my best to ignore it.
“I also went through what I thought was joy, yet, it seems to me now, wasn’t that much joy, perhaps a little loosening of the ropes. The joy was made up. All of my life was made up in that I wasn’t really alive. I was passive and impassive. I was off somewhere, and I also wasn’t anywhere at all. I must have slept through life. Occasionally I opened my eyes and then closed them again. What I thought was enjoyment wasn’t really. It was louder noise or, perhaps, a break in the noise. I was locked in a cell of my choosing or that I had settled for. I want to know life as it is meant to be lived and meant to be loved. Help me, O God.”
Beloveds, how often you repeated this approach and reproach to life. You felt that life had passed you by.
Had all your dreams come true, you would be singing the same refrain, for you discovered that you had been a watcher. You were a watchbird watching a watchbird watch. You were an observer with, perhaps, one eye open.