Yes, I apologize to you and everyone who reads this post.  I screwed up.  I failed the test.  Instead of going with the flow, I now run a course upstream against the current because I couldn't learn my lessons.  I was prompted over and over again to stop smoking and I didn't and more honestly, I couldn't.  I tried laying them down, but repeated failed. However, by the time I did manage to stop, it's now too late.  Something has gotten ahold of me that is quickly taking me down.  My health is failing fast, It hurts to breathe.  My body hurts in places I forgot about.  My cheery outlook has changed to one of depression.  I feel as though the Light that brought ascending miracles has stopped at my feet.  Darkness and the gloom of staying here in the 3D is breaking my heart, especially when I desparately wanted to ascend.  Actually, that's not even the whole truth of it all.  Though I've casted the "fear of the unknown" to the Universe many times, it remains still.  What can one do when the fear stays?  It's a blockage.  It's difficult to move forward. 

     What now?  Am I going to die now before I am able to physically ascend?  Do I have to die in order to ascend?  That's not what I wanted.  I came to see this thing through to the end.  I don't want to stop and stay here with the ones who harm each other.  I wanted a life full of love, light and peace.  I wanted to see the New Earth and her new inhabitants in all their glory.