You Fear Falling from Grace
God said:
There are different kinds of fear. Rather, there are different excuses for fear. This is not to say that fear is not frightful. Living with fear is like being on the edge of a cliff, and you tremble. You have fear of fear -- fear of what fear will throw at you next.
There are ego-based fears, like fear of what others may think of you, such as fear of losing your reputation, or fear of not living up to your reputation. Fear of being rejected is ego-based, as if you have to "win" in order to survive. Yes, you have fear of falling from grace.
All your fears are fear of loss. The seeming loss of a Loved One is as deep a fear as you can have. In some ways, loss of a Loved One is a deeper fear than the fear of loss of your own body which you see as loss of life. Never do you want someone you love to leave you by any means whatsoever.
It is no help to you to hear that the grief you feel will pass, for you are also attached to your suffering.
Attachment causes you to pay dearly. Come closer to discovering how to love without grabbing hold of it. If you did not insist on holding on tight, you would not be attached.
Better to be attached to life as it comes, not to a script that you desire above all. This way, your heart will not ache to the extent it does now. Now your heart bleeds with the thought alone of losing a Loved One. You have even pictured loss ahead of time. There is no end to your mourning before the fact. How can you possibly bear the loss of a Loved One? The thought alone is too much to bear.
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